Friday, June 09, 2006

Restlessness

I don't know how to explain it. It's hard to describe.

I have this energy inside and it needs to get out. It's feeding on me. Draining me. I need to find a way to release it so I can function again. Rage, frustration, tension, edginess. I'm wound too tight. I have the urge to rebel, to act out. I need to break free from this form and find a new one.

Then I breathe. I have control again. I am able to function. To get done what needs to be done. To plan and coordinate the events of our lives. I steady my nerves. I have complete composure. My will power has returned and I am productive. Constructive.

Still, the inner being is awake and seething. It must be dealt with soon.

6 comments:

S said...

Nina, thank you for that. However I think the answer may be fairly easy. I want more. More of what, I am not sure.

S said...

Thank you honey. I hope to get out dancing again soon. And really, who cares if the boys like to watch. I'm not there for them. Love you.

Anonymous said...

I have missed your postings, it is good to read you again.

I have been there. I am often on my way back there, sooner than I expect.

Take care.
-pc

S said...

PC, it seems to be a cycle of life. As much as it frustrates me, I'd rather deal with it than remain stagnant. Thank you for reading. S

BigOso said...

I miss you baby.

S said...

I miss you too.