Monday, April 19, 2010

"Steady As We Go"

I walk half way around the world,

Just to sit down by your side.

And I would do most anything girl,

To be the apple of your eye.

Troubles they may come and go,

But good times they are the gold.

And if this road gets rocky girl,

Just steady as we go.

Any place you wanna go,

Know I'll be next to you.

If it's treasure baby you're looking for,

I'll search the whole world through.

Know troubles they may come and go,

But good times they're the gold.

So if the road gets rocky girl,

Just steady as we go.

When the storm comes,

You shelter me.

And I don't say a word,

And you know exactly what I mean.

In the darkest times,

You shine on me.

You set me free.

And keep me steady as we go.

So if your heart rings dry my love,

I will fill your cup.

And if your load gets heavy girl,

I will lift you up.

Troubles they may come and go,

But good times be the gold.

So if this road gets rocky girl,

Just steady as we go.

Ah Hold me,

Shine on me.

Oh, shine, shine,

Shine on me.

Shine, shine

Yeah shine on me.

Hey shine.

by DMB

Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

Today I thought of him for a few moments and was able to smile.

I've slowly moved Oso's memory out of my home. Strike that. Out of my bedroom. There are too many memories to move him out of the house. But my bedroom is slowly becoming my own again. It's the only way I've been able to sleep. I am thinking it would be a small blow to his ego, as we spent some wonderful moments there. But entertaining ghosts of the past in such a room is heart breaking.

I still have many moments of him throughout my day. Sometimes they come unbidden, making me catch my breath and will my heart to beat again. Other times I go looking for them, smiling in the memory of the high of the moment. There were so many highs.

I suppose the right thing to do is close the door, turn my thoughts towards the future and not look back. I've had friends tell me the same in not so many words. The phrase used is 'stupid dumb boys'. However, I choose to leave the door open. Time with Oso was some of the best of my life. Why would I want to forget that? The simple answer is, I don't. So I let the ghosts come freely. I let them touch me when they float my way.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Just Say I Want You

Get back on track, pick me up some bottles of booze
Fickle freshman, probly thinks she's cooler than you
A hay ride at 5, everybodys comin
go press you skirt, word is there's a new girl in town...
I call shotgun, you can play your RnB tunes

The fellow?, it always comes a little too soon
The land of the free, freshened up from babyfaced shame
Put your eyes on me, and I know a place that we can't get away...

Just say I want you, just exactly like I used to
Cos baby this is ooooonly bringin me down...

Home-boy's so proud, finally got the video proof
The night vision shows she was only duckin the truth
It's heavy I know, black guy with the gift down below
A choke and a gag, she spit up n came back for more...

She sed I want you, just exactly like I used to
And baby this is ooooonly bringin me down...
She sed I want you I want you, just exactly like I used to
And baby this is oooonly bringin me down...
I said I want you, just exactly like I used to
And baby this is oooonly bringin me down

Kings of Lion

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Small irritations occupy my thoughts. Silly little things, that on any other day, I'd just leave alone. Hubby would say that I'm restless and ready to 'clean house' again, pushing the things that do not suit me, out of my life.

I have been bombarded with people lately, and it's wearing on my nerves. I am a contradiction. I am the most social antisocial person you will ever meet. I am ready to lock the doors and disconnect the phone. Yet, I am here, sharing with the masses.

I had hoped that writing would give me some clarity and focus, but this exercise has just made me more restless. I think I need to find a more physical release.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Collecting Dust

I have been thinking about this neglected space. Analyzing why I've left it alone. It's true that I prefer to sort things out inside my head before I give voice to them. But mostly, I think because this blog no longer suits a purpose for me. Life changes and I'm in a very different place now.

I no longer have a 3rd person in my life. Nor do I care to find one. Oso has left and as much as it pains me to say so, can not manage to keep in contact. I suppose I could gush like a girl and give a long list of emotions I have about that situation, but mostly, I'm just disappointed. I understand...but am still disappointed.

Moving on, I've shift my focus. My life is full of family and friends. New friends, old friends. Most days my hair is pulled back and I have flour on my apron. Almost a domestic goddess. My life is not exciting, there is nothing going on that would thrill the masses.

But it is good. It is a little more relaxed. It is fun. As sad as I have been, I've also laughed so much it's hurt. Life is less complicated. Well, a little less anyway.

I have not lost the kink side of me. I know it is still there, it's not going anywhere. But I've let go my obsession to allow room for something else to come into my life. To enjoy a little more calm. To have a little more peace. Moments of contentment and pleasure happen more often. These are all good things. Maybe just not the most interesting to read about.

So I'm not sure what will become of this space. It would be sad to wipe it all out and start anew. I'm much more interested in swapping recipes than partners...and while the blueberry scones are amazing...doesn't seem fitting to say so here.

I know this time has been coming, and I've tried to ignore it, maybe for too long. I still need to decide what to do with this space. Maybe a batch of cookies will help.