Thursday, January 07, 2010

Collecting Dust

I have been thinking about this neglected space. Analyzing why I've left it alone. It's true that I prefer to sort things out inside my head before I give voice to them. But mostly, I think because this blog no longer suits a purpose for me. Life changes and I'm in a very different place now.

I no longer have a 3rd person in my life. Nor do I care to find one. Oso has left and as much as it pains me to say so, can not manage to keep in contact. I suppose I could gush like a girl and give a long list of emotions I have about that situation, but mostly, I'm just disappointed. I understand...but am still disappointed.

Moving on, I've shift my focus. My life is full of family and friends. New friends, old friends. Most days my hair is pulled back and I have flour on my apron. Almost a domestic goddess. My life is not exciting, there is nothing going on that would thrill the masses.

But it is good. It is a little more relaxed. It is fun. As sad as I have been, I've also laughed so much it's hurt. Life is less complicated. Well, a little less anyway.

I have not lost the kink side of me. I know it is still there, it's not going anywhere. But I've let go my obsession to allow room for something else to come into my life. To enjoy a little more calm. To have a little more peace. Moments of contentment and pleasure happen more often. These are all good things. Maybe just not the most interesting to read about.

So I'm not sure what will become of this space. It would be sad to wipe it all out and start anew. I'm much more interested in swapping recipes than partners...and while the blueberry scones are amazing...doesn't seem fitting to say so here.

I know this time has been coming, and I've tried to ignore it, maybe for too long. I still need to decide what to do with this space. Maybe a batch of cookies will help.


expei said...

i would hate to see you disappear.

Tess said...

I second that. I'd hate to see you vanish.

Much love.