Coming Home

Last weekend we celebrated Oktoberfest at our home. It is a time where we can get all our friends together and to show them we are thankful to have them in our lives. It's also a great opportunity to drink beer, eat brawts, and listen to polka music. The only thing missing was the lederhosen. Just as well, if we had them, I think that would be a different type of party. I have weird kinks, what can I say.

Anyway, I got a call Friday afternoon, before the party. A good friend of ours, that has moved away, wanted to know if we had room for her at the house. She said that she wanted to come home.

I don't know if I can describe what it felt like to hear those words. I was very excited to get the chance to see her again. We've missed her terribly. I was honored and flattered that she would refer to my place as home. But it was something more than that. She has been having a rough time with her relationship and her job and she needed a 'soft place' to land. She chose us.

Up to this point I had been fairly cold and withdrawn from people. Her request was so opposite from what I had been feeling, what I thought I was able to give. But in that moment, she changed things for me. She reminded me that I do have that 'soft place'. That I can be both soft and hard. And that it's ok to do so.

She walked through the door. She came early to help set things up. I heard her voice. "Honey, I'm home". I pulled back a tear and gave her a hug. It is good that she was here. She told a friend of mine that she felt lucky to have us. That we loved her through all her mistakes. I'm glad she feels that way.

The next day we curled up on the couch together and talked. She's really in a bad situation. She wants to get out. She realized that she moved to a place where she has no friends, no support and family that doesn't care. She wants to leave the jerk she's living with and move back to town to be close to her friends. Since then she's put her plan in motion.

All this has made me take another look at myself. I'm looking to see if I'm walking the path I want to walk. There are still changes I want to make in myself. To enable myself to become the person I want to be. To readjust the balance in my life. I know I will never be perfect. I never want to be. But if I can get close, I'll be alright with that. S