Some time ago I acquired this book. Oso got it for me with the agreement we would read it together. I was suppose to underline all the things that 'spoke to me', what turned me on, etc. And then he would do the same thing. Mine in red ink, his in black.
It's been a long time since I've looked at the book. I really didn't like it. I did learn from it.
I know that I never want to be a slave. I never want to have such a jack ass in my life.
I picked up this book again, to find connection with Oso. He's definitely not an ass, but I knew his thoughts were there. He's been gone now since May. I miss his voice, his smile, his smell. There are many things that remind me of him, but I was searching for a deeper connection. I opened this book and found his words.
There I found the words that caused him pain. Words that spoke directly to his heart. And words that definitely fired his lust. Gods I miss his lust. I didn't read the entire book again. I really didn't want to revisit the depths she went to being used. I just skimmed and looked for his underlined phrases and comments.
At the end of the book I wrote, "Note to self, make sure he is worthy". His reply, "No one is worthy of this". I will leave you with a quote he underlined, that speaks volumes to me about the kind of person he is.
"The gods are like men, they only die when they have stopped being loved." Matzneff. Oso, you are most assuredly loved. I miss you.
S
2 comments:
I feel the depth in this post. Thank you for sharing that.
And I think I'll need to pick up the book. My curiosity is peaked.
Nice to see you again Carrie Ann. Thank you for your compliment. You will find the most important thing lacking, love.
S
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